Into the Heart of Darkness

Long time no see...

2007-07-13T11:06:00.000+02:00

Ehy...

It's been a while, uh? ^_^

The rest of this post will be in italian. Sorry, Pals & Gals...

Non è che abbia granché da scrivere. Poco tempo per pensare, poco tempo da buttare...

Ho postato su un paio di altri Blog di amici. Non lo facevo da secoli.

La vita scorre. E' bella. Mi piace.

Le energie mancano un po'. Cose 'impegnative' a cui dedicarsi. Sistemare la casa mi gusta. Lavare in terra e stirare un po' meno.

Dormo troppo poco.

Mi manca lei.

42. E scusate il disturbo.

An Ancient, Lost Code

2006-09-16T21:33:00.000+02:00

It was posted by a long lost friend of mine, from the School of Heroes.

It always fascinated me.

I'm going to write the original one, and a personal translation with some changes in italian.

Thank you, Elias. Wherever you are.

The Lost Code

Bravery - Standing up for what you believe in.

Charming - Polite and Compassionate to those around you.

Chivalry - A gentlemen and well-mannered with everyone around you.

Courage - Is not the absence of fear. It's doing the right this even in the presence of fear

Fortitude - Determination to endure to the end

Gallantry - Showing heroism and Valor, giving people someone to believe in.

Honesty - Being sincere and Honest in ever interaction with people.

Integrity - Doing the right thing even when no one is looking.

Loyalty - Devotion and faithful to those you love and swore to pretect.

Service - The Greatest gift you can give.

And here goes mine:

L'Antico Codice

Audacia - Combatti per quello in cui credi

Fascino - Cortese e compassionevole con tutti attorno a te

Galanteria - Educato e gentile con coloro che incrociano la tua strada

Coraggio - Non è l'assenza di paura. E' fare la cosa giusta, nonostante la paura

Forza - Determinato nel difendere ciò in cui confidi fino alla fine

Eroismo - Mostra il tuo valore, dando alle persone qualcuno in cui credere

Onestà - Sincero in ogni circostanza

Integrità - Fai sempre la cosa giusta, anche quando nessuno è lì a testimoniarlo

Lealtà - Devozione e fedeltà a coloro che hai giurato di proteggere

Disponibilità - Il dono più grande di cui sei capace

Is it really Lost...?

In Memory of my Lost Soul

2006-09-12T06:30:00.000+02:00

Boy... Am I a slow? ^_^

Seems to me that I come here only when I really need to.

Uhm... Oh well. Nevermind. I'm just happy, 'cause I've found this old poem of mine.

I re-wrote it for the School of Talented Wizards (Bless them all ^_^), but indeed it was an old poem of mine, 'revamped' for my second level graduation.

And here it goes...

THE SOUL OF A MAN

I saw her eyes
speaking of sins,
and felt the sublime smell
of her scented skin.

For ever and ever
I'll remember her voice...
Like a song the words came through her mouth
without noise.

She said things beyond my belief...

She said: "Stealing your existence
you acted like a thief,
and the way you're now
is your only way to be"

I stood still, waiting for her to strike.
Pathetic creature, I needed to hide.
She spoke again, fading away:"Go forth, find your fate
the time has not come for you to faint"

And I went through the Chasms of Despair,
and passed through the River of Sorrow...
I almost drowned, but I reached the shore,
And I felt completely hollow.

And I went through the Cavern of Life...

The Icy walls were filled each side
with frozen figures, they all were stuck.
I couldn't free them, nor build a fire.
My memories... they'll never come back.

For all those moments of Pain,
For all those moments of Cowardice,
I'll pay the rest of my Life.
They're all there, everlasting advice.

After years of long journeying,
I found myself exausted, kneeling before Love
"I beg you, release me!", I said yelling.
He responded with lively tone:
"You shouldn't beg me, for me you should fight.
Truth will be your sword, for your Love is Might"

Time has passed, and I'm still on my Way.
Fighting, struggling, trying to find my Fate.
The Journey will never end, I'll never be satisfied:
The more I got to know, the more is hiding inside...

My Bleeding Heart of foolish Desires.

There ^-^... oh, one last thing:

"Don't forget, my friend... if you want to discover the Light within yourself, first you must look inside... your Heart of Darkness..."

Cheer up, people! (Yeah... right... :P)

Marco, the Heart of Darkness

Un Pellegrino... Solo un Pellegrino.

2006-06-04T20:49:00.000+02:00

Torno alla mia lingua madre, per questo post. Voglio essere libero di esprimere questi concetti come meglio credo. Da quì, questa scelta.

Sono tornato a viaggare...

Il Destino solo ora mi appare per quel che è stato: scritto da altri per me... ed io li ho lasciati fare. Or non m'appaga... Non mi basta più.

Il Dolore è tornato. Il Male Oscuro è di nuovo innanzi a me. Tutte le mie ansie, le mie paure... Sì, paure. Inutile nascondersi dietro lo stolto Orgoglio. Io ho paura. Paura di me stesso, di ciò che non faccio, di ciò che ho lasciato che divenissi.

Mi sono odiato tante volte... Perché ho sempre visto solo sconfitte, solo eterno scorno, ed il desiderio d'esser perfetto che mi distruggeva ieri come oggi...

Ed ogni volta che tali pensieri hanno fatto capolino nella mia mente, alcune parole hanno sempre troneggiato d'improvviso sulle altre... Apatico... Codardo... Menefreghista... Egoista...

Tutto quel che sò esser parte di me. Tutto quel che a stento infine ho ammesso.

C'è una sola soluzione... un'ultima possibilità... un'unica strada da seguire, per uscire da questo pantano infame.

Ammanterò l'anima con tutto ciò che mi resta. Le mie idee, le mie convinzioni, quel poco per cui ho lottato in vita mia. Non voglio poi tanto. Voglio solo essere ciò a cui aspiro.

Una nuova speranza... Ho visto persone guardarmi con occhi carichi di aggettivi che non sento di meritare. Avevano fiducia in me, in ciò che, forse, sono solo in potenza. Voglio dargli qualcosa in cui credere, una persona di cui fidarsi, qualcuno a cui poter chiedere aiuto, su cui poter contare.

Voglio esser ciò che agogno. So di poterlo fare. So di poterci riuscire. E' già accaduto. Devo solo...

... tornare a viaggiare.

Pellegrino ancora, nell'Esistenza. Come già fui, come devo tornare ad essere.

Pellegrino, sulla strada del Vivere, non semplicemente dell'Essere.

Cuor di Tenebra, folle Pensatore errante, Poeta distratto e anarchico nella rima, Amico fidato, Compagno d'Amore, Cavalier Servente. Pellegrino.

Solo un Pellegrino...

In the Forests of the Night

2006-01-31T04:43:00.000+01:00

Hi there, my good friends.

After a long silence, here I go again. Indeed, my job is taking a lot of my everydays life... So, the only moments I've got to write something by now are at night... Thus the title, since I'm writing this post at 4.30 a.m.

The few words of the title are quoted from a beautiful poem by William Blake, "The Tyger", from his "Songs of Experience". He referred to the Tyger, in opposition of "The Lamb" of his "Songs of Innocence", as an animal of 'fearful simmetry'. Many critics believed that he wanted to represent, with this figure, the mechanical creations of mankind, mostly because Blake used some peculiar terms to describe the 'birth' of the Tyger...

Quote:
What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors grasp?

Indeed, Blake is a very fascinating poet. He wrote some of the most visionary and powerful poems of his period, and most of them could be read by now retaining their original impact, as they describe atavic feelings that could even relate with modern life. I reccomend to you all to take a look at his works... he was also a painter and an egraver. Have you ever seen the movie "Red Dragon", with Ralph Fiennes and Edward Norton? Well, the picture of the dragon was one of his fantastic paints.

Well, apart from Blake, I gotta admit that lately, I'm starting to feel better then the last part of the last year. Mostly because I decided to change something in my life. It's invigorating, sometimes, to look at ourselves, and decide to take a different path, to 'cleanse' ouselves from those things that we know are wrong, even if we enjoy them.

It helps us to become the person we want to be, I think. I didn't say it's an easy task... sometimes, it's almost impossible. But, with Will, Strenght, and Faith in ourselves, we can do ANYTHING we want. I firmly believe it. Those who couldn't do it... well, surely lack of one of those three. I don't feel to blame them for this, though... Sometimes, life can really be a Hell on Earth, and can guide us to our final destruction.

I think that it's part of 'the horror', that Conrad spoke about in his masterpiece, 'Heart of Darkness' (My, am I boring? ^_^' )... The decadence of the human soul, when it faces its real shape, its deepest desires and delusions... and couldn't go on after that.

Oh well... Looks like I'm rambling again. Maybe it's just too late, I can't focus clearly. Maybe it's the Darkness of the night around me, or another kind of Darkness around my spirit... inside my Heart... who knows...

See you around, my friends.

We Live as We Dream - Alone

2005-12-15T07:00:00.000+01:00

Well, with a title like this, I should talk about something deep.

What's the importance of dreams, and why Conrad (the author of 'Heart of Darkness', the book from where I quoted the title) stated that phrase?

Dreams are made of experiences, of hopes, delusions, desires. Dreams let us go wild, make us happy or sad, give us the possibility to fly without wings. Yeah, living in a dream would be great, but it wouldn't be real, some could say. To those, I would reply: how can you demonstrate that reality and dreams are two different things? Dreams can be vivid experiences, sometimes we could even have memories that later we may mistake as real. Reality, on the other hand, is based on the perception that we have of our surroundings through our senses; but they can be tricked in many ways... who can say for sure that what we call reality is not in fact another 'dream'? Maybe Death is just another way of awakening.

Anyway we dream, we dream alone, 'cause we can't share completely the feelings of a dream. Although sometimes we hope that others could understand our everyday feelings, like love, hate, sorrow or happiness, mostly because of similiar situations they may have encountered in their lifes, dreams could not be understand by none other than us. There are no words that could be used for describing (quoting Conrad himself) "that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewildermentin tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is of the very essence of dreams...".

In conclusion, a little story: Once there was a man, that one night dreamed about being a butterfly. He flew secure, and felt a happiness never felt before, enjoying the simple life of an insect. When he woke, he felt a deep sensation of uneasiness; he wasn't sure anymore about reality: was he a man that dreamed of being a butterfly, or a butterfly, dreaming of being a man?

'Till next post, my good friends.

The Journey Begins

2005-12-14T00:17:00.000+01:00

Hi to everyone out there!

Wow, this is my very first blog...

I'm still not sure about what I'm going to write here.
I'll come up with something soon.

Stay tuned!

Murdock, the Heart of Darkness